A wise man once said that, “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” Yes, indeed, over the past 24-plus hours or so of reflection, I have already seen something incredible, a now-less-uneasy blast from the past.
What, you ask? What I see is nothing less than another turbulent time long ago, when I was just a kid, longing for new friends and also a new avenue of bonding with a great pal of mine from RL, Yobity. During this time, I was in my first true army, the RBAA (But, before then, Rogue ACP people FTW!), and, despite my pleas for Yobity to join with me in that group, he insisted on making a name for himself in Shadow Troops.
ST was a group I had just barely come to know from the great Parka Wars of 2008, and admittedly, they didn’t quite rub me the right way at the time. Alas, Yobity had found his niche in the witty ST, and it is with growing acceptance that I say that my jealousy got the better of me; we grow apart IRL. The sun was setting for one partnership, but alas, another was just beginning.
ST did help introduce me to an earlier Parka War counterpart, Blueswill, who I Initially knew on uneasy terms. He and I soon learned of a shared passion for Star Wars, and I am proud to say that his Club Penguin Clones became my new home for years on end. There, I began to gain a sense of who I was as not just a CPA gamer, but as a person overall.
Through highs and lows of social standing in the Clones, and wisdom given to me by nights of hardship, I also began to realize how much I truly wanted to make Club Penguin Warfare a more-just place. Eventually, upon easing tensions IRL with Yobity and the final end of the Clones in Summer 2011, I stumbled upon the Light Troops, the creation of Ioioluk.
I was quickly off-put by their tendencies, and ultimately would fail multiple times to drive Ioioluk into retirement. Again, the times in the so-called “Fleedom Flight Alliance” shaped me into the person I am still known by many in the community today, and I will admit that this is where my slippage began. As former allies left and right defected to Light Troops and their Black Alliance partners, I soon came into their fold as well, hoping to make a new name for myself, metaphorically and literally as Proditor, in that rising force that bested me on so many occasions beforehand.
Eventually, this is where I met Lord Pain and Eva for the first time, as our shared drives to open up CPA to newer armies besides the traditional powerhouses made us acquaintances after some XAT conversations. And, although the Black Alliance lost numerous battles against the big three, I am comfortable-enough to say that I acquired something when I progressively saw firsthand the corrupting potential of power.
I ultimately worked for my remaining half of my CPA involvement on-and-off trying to bring the community together. I now saw the OG game losing steam day by day, and I knew that we would have to make amends on critical areas such as flaming, the bigger political edginess, autotyping (where’s Elmikey’s input when I need him!), recruiting as a whole, etc.
Admittedly, I again regressed into unethical tendencies within CP Warfare’s domains during my still-baffling emotional decline. I first felt vaguely unwell around mid 2013, which happened to be when Elmikey and Puckley, two titans, were squaring off in a legendary battle for community supremacy. Perhaps Seeing two friends at odds with each other, plus a severe episode of renewed real-life OCD, helped kickstart this downturn in me. Anyhow, I erred by dabbling into toxic cultural trains of thought. And yes, I perhaps-rightfully lost a lot of respect from my former friends in the Black Alliance; I partially returned to in-game battles by around the Fall of 2015, as isolation continuously crept back into my mind.
On a lighter note, during that autumn one day, I renewed a friendship with a special somebody during this dark phase of my teenage life. My talks with this individual helped renew my commitment to intellectualism and progressive causes, and the winter that came next was, indeed, less dreary in-part because of my enduring friendships, IRL and here. And the fact that a freak drought began here in the northeast during that season? Eh, my environmental values and concerns are a story for another long-as-heck speech 😉 Finally, the early spring of 2017 saw an alleviation of both that drought and much of my temporary isolation due to that aforementioned OCD. I partook in multiple armies’ farewell events in the first months of 2017, yes, and I met two new good friends, Dillon and Zeke, during what was slated to be CPA’s concluding tournament. I remained in the UMA of CPR after the OG went offline for good, and also temporarily rekindled a correspondence with a veteran and ally from the BA Wars, Coolster.
The angst inside my head gradually faded, even as I was still making strides to rid myself of remnants from my days of being toxic. To make matters better, one early afternoon just last October, I communicated once more with a legend, foe, and friend from the past, Mchappy. Equally as interesting was his and Chainpro’s decision to re-open the ACP’s gates. Hoping to continue on a path of altruism and atonement, I accepted his offer to become a member of the Army reborn. The ride continued on last fall when Eva ultimately returned to CPA and ACP as well. We both agreed to open the socialism-themed club that I am now speaking to at this moment. Since then, some of the best feelings I have experienced in a long while have occurred. Yet, and regrettably, I cannot continue on as a direct army participant from here on out, as the cause of globe-scale social democracy increasingly brings me joy and a prospective purpose. Nevertheless, I will not leave Discord for at least some time ahead, as I have a bigger business to run. 😉
As I said last night, I love you all so much. I apologize for my inability to name more specific pals and counterparts, as my long-term memory is actually a bit rusty nowadays. Through good times and the bad, though, you all made me into the kind of person I am still working on to this day. Once more, this is a final, formal “thank you” to the community as a whole. To those I offended and hurt, I promise you, those past sins will be counteracted. And, increasingly, back to humanity I go!
But, on a parting note, I will return to the vision long ago. I didn’t know it then, but I instinctively sense now that I couldn’t have made a wiser choice in sticking with the game even after RBAA faded and Yobity and I were at severe odds with each other; two then-tormenting souls in a sea of uncertainty. I am still far from perfect, even now, as we all are, but CPA truly brought me more than a few steps closer to you good people. What more can I say, other than wishing you all the best?
Until next time, take care, Friends!
Now in Some Need of Serious Rest…